New England Toe

Toe Factor: 7 (I need 12 beeahs in me just to look)
Babe Factor: (5+3+8)
Seen: Candlepin Bowling or

This photo explains why Baywatch was shot in California, not in Boston. The one on the left is decent, and probably talks dirty during sex. She is likely from the large Portuguese community near Hartford and went to CCSU (Central Conn. St.). But lets be honest…she should be a dental hygienist, not a swimsuit model. Apart from the shiny gold Toe, the one in the middle is an absolute disaster. Alannis’ hair. Austin Powers’ teeth. She looks like a mole that just came out of your yard. The one on the right is clearly not from New England. She is probably from Alabama, but worked her way north with brief stops in strip clubs in Atlanta, Houston, and Philly. Is it me? Or does most social interaction in Atlanta and Houston revolve around strip clubs? What a bunch of country chowdah-heads.Anyhow, this cahhh show probably took place in the pahhking lawt behind the Filene’s in Worcester. Dude…that Camaro is cooler than Vinatieri.

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