“Toe Canada” (sung to “Oh Canada”)

Toe Factor: 10
Babe Factor: 10 again
Seen: On a boat saving the seals

I’m glad that NAFTA included Canada… that way this beauty can enter the country without paying a Toeriff. It’s about time Canada started stepping up their game… they’ll have to produce a lot more of these to make up for sending us Tom Green, who is so bad that he almost negates Canada’s previous benevolence by sending us Mike Myers and Jim Carrey. I think the reason that Canada produces so many comedians on a per capita basis is that it’s so cold up there that (a) comedy serves as a distraction and defense mechanism during youth and (b) once you leave you’re so f**king happy to be warm that you’re always upbeat. This might be Miss Canada, but when she gets that playboy contract and moves somewhere warmer she probably wont ‘miss canada’. During some of the coverage this week of the Reagan funeral I heard Brit Hume of Fox News asking Brian Mulroney about his unsuccessful 1987 attempt to officially rename Toronto to “Toe-ronto”. A shame… he was ahead of his time.

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