Lance Toestrong Wannabe in Spandex

bikerchill

Toe Factor: 7
Wannabe Factor: 10
Seen: Coffee shops, talking about Shimano Alivio Crank set

As horrifying as this may seem right now, fifteen years ago it was acceptable for anyone, no matter the figure, to wear Spandex or “biker” shorts during non-exercising activities. During this time, I’ll admit I tried the Spandex shorts look on a few occasions. I was also in late-stage puberty with raging chubb every two seconds. Trying to hide a rock-hard helmet in shorts that weigh maybe 3 grams is rather challenging. That’s why Spandex shorts are only to be worn by professional bicyclists or yoga instructors. Someone without TOEtal control over his or her arena is risking severe embarrassment.

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