Maria Butt-yrskaya and her cold Toe

iceskaterToe Factor: 8
Babe Factor: a Flexible 6
Seen: Crying, holding a bouquet of flowers, staring up at the scoreboard
Favorite Movie: Ice Castles (perhaps the worst ever)

Figure skating is pretty close to women’s gymnastics when it comes to Camel Toes and pissing me off. The scoring is so obviously biased (9.6, 9.6, 9.8, and a 7.5 from the Russian judge). The routines are entirely repetitive. The music they play is unforgivable. And it is cold. But figure skating does have some redeeming qualities. First, I love listening to the invariably gay male announcer. Whoever it is, they always make me laugh. I would tune in just for the audio. Second, it has produced some incredible pop culture. Who could forget Nancy Kerrigan boring people to tears on Saturday Night Live? Or even better, have you seen the video of Tonya Harding and Gillooley on their honeymoon? That was quality amateur porn. Blows away the Tommy and Pamela Lee video. Lastly, I really like the &quote;freestyle&quote; segment where the guys let their hair down, and come out with a &quote;rowdy&quote; costume like a leather jacket and play a rock n roll song. They usually have a mullet, and play air guitar. Priceless.

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