Vlad’s Gonna impale her

0599278300

Toe Factor:5
Babe Factor: 7
Seen: Picking a sensible rocking chair for her new 56 year old husband, and shouting “Im not a gold digger its true love”

I once had a coffee table which formed the same weird shape which Alina Kabaeva has managed to achieve with years of training, it also has a knot of wood sticking up in the wrong place dead center, exactly where you would place and ashtray, the salesman assured me that is was a feature and not a flaw. So after burning out three Black and decker sanders on this impulse buy, the knot of wood had now become more of a log and looks more like Picasso has had a bash at furniture design.

I thought it wasn’t for me, so being eco friendly type of a guy in the dead of the night I loaded in to the back of my Hummer drove to a lay by and kicked it out, driving back at hast and not stopping at any Seven Elevens for a bottle to stead my nerves, hoping that the cops or CCTV had not seen the dastardly deed which had just taken place, not the fact that I had just fly tipped more the fact the item in question was associated with me, like dumping your porn mags in the neighbors bin, you the get the idea.

There are still days I drive pass the lay by and yes, its still there peeking through the weeds with three of the four legs on the ground, you would not see it but I do. Its like my dirty little secret which should never be spoken of.


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  1. Oh, Thanks! Really amazing. Big ups!

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