Kelly Ripa Toe

kellyripa
Toe Factor: 9

I don’t know what is more remarkable: that Regis could replace Kathie Lee with someone even more banal and vapid or that he could do so and continue to stay on the air. Sometimes while channel-surfing I find myself rubbernecking on this show… and rubbernecking is exactly what it is.

This shot is from a special put together by the American Medical Association, which has determined that the average adult can only withstand 5 minutes and 28 seconds of her without incurring serious and irreparable brain damage. Double-blind studies have shown that multiple Harvard cum laude graduates, after being exposed to Regis/Kelly banter for an entire JetBlue flight from Islip to West Palm Beach, experience such cognitive degeneration that if they had to re-apply to college the best they could do would be the night program at Plymouth State.

Kelly is the girl from student government who everyone always thought would get her comeuppance in the “real world” but never has… and likely never will because even though she’s tedious and annoying she is probably extremely persistent, resilient and ambitious… so you have to give her props for that even if exposure to her chatter could turn Steven Hawking into Benny from LA Law.

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