Mariah Carey makes The Camel Toe Report

mariahtoe
MenTOE Health: 10
Mental Health: 3
Here’s a fine toe shot of the singer who will never quite be anything more than the poor-man’s Whitney Houston. Even her breakdowns and bad marriages can’t compare to the anorexia and lesbian rumors of the real Diva. After ten years of overexposure and undeniable success, I cannot decide if she is good looking or not. I doubt she will age gracefully; her trend of dressing sluttier with each passing year charts a very dangerous course for the years 2011 and beyond.

We’ve got a call into Derek Jeter (undoubtedly an avid toe fan) regarding these issues and will refresh this entry when he replies. Has there ever been someone who has sold this many records without any lasting hits? Quick…name your favorite Mariah song. You can’t. I just tried that test and ended up humming “Straight Up” by Paula Abdul.

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