Archive for July 2008

Hooters Toe

Toe Factor: 8 (Hooterrific)
Babe Factor: Trashy 5
Seen: Bending over to pick up the fork I intentionally knocked off the table.

God bless Hooters. It provides employment for all the trashy women who should be strippers, but just cant seem to pull the trigger.

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“Toe Canada” (sung to “Oh Canada”)

Toe Factor: 10
Babe Factor: 10 again
Seen: On a boat saving the seals

I’m glad that NAFTA included Canada… that way this beauty can enter the country without paying a Toeriff. It’s about time Canada started stepping up their game… they’ll have to produce a lot more of these to make up for sending us Tom Green,

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Laguna Seca Toe

Toe Factor: High
Babe Factor: 5&6
Cheese Factor: Higher

Let’s say right of the bat that there is nothing you could think of sexually that would be shocking or off-limits to a chick who wears a bikini to a motocross event; this is why the X Games should probably be called the XXX games.

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New England Toe

Toe Factor: 7 (I need 12 beeahs in me just to look)
Babe Factor: (5+3+8)
Seen: Candlepin Bowling or

This photo explains why Baywatch was shot in California, not in Boston. The one on the left is decent, and probably talks dirty during sex. She is likely from the large Portuguese community near Hartford and went to CCSU (Central Conn. St.)

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Talkie Toe

cheerleaderToe Factor: 7
Babe Factor: 8
Seen at: Truck Feast hanging out a big rigs window

This hottie looks a little bit like Elizabeth Berkeley from SAVED BY THE BELL and, of course, SHOWGIRLS. I’m not sure what the 1992 World Bowl is but from the signature/logo it might actually have been an international cameltoe tournament.

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Sue Baru and her Friend the offroad doggers

Toe Factor: 16 (8×2)
Babe Factor: 9 (6+3)
Favorite Sexual Act: going “off road dogging”
Subaru is a funny word. And a funny brand of car. Who, actually, are Subaru buyers? Mountain bikers who can’t afford an SUV? Unsuccessful Yuppies? Suburban soccer moms who can’t afford a Volvo cross country?

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The Forbidden Fruit

Toe Factor: 7 (…fruit factor included)
Babe Factor: 0, although a little fruity
seen: next to the plums in any Walmart

There’s always been a tension between evolution and religion, but recently divinity scholars and scientists have been perplexed to find themselves with more in common than ever before. Scientists have always believed there was a big bang, followed by plankton and sea life and ultimately land-based life, which included humans on top of the food chain…

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Cabo Toe or Micheal Jackson

Toe Factor: 8
Babe Factor: 5
if you like that type of thing.
Seen: 18 to 30 Club Holiday trying to mix with the young of the world, or Micheal Jackson look a look a like picking up first place in

This guy and his gal have more problems ’south of the border’ than Mexican President Vicente Fox does, and that’s saying something considering he’s dealing with 25% unemployment and an overall state of lawlessness and corruption.

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Britney Spears PVC latex camel toe

Toe Factor: 10
Babe Factor: I would still give her one.
Seen at: Strip Bars, Hollywood.TV and Youtube (leave her alone)
Favorite Band: ‘N Suck

Hit me baby one more time! Britney summed this one up in her interview with Much Music: “I had to put powder all over my body just to get that suit on,

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Salma Hayak with her camel toe show.

Camel Toe Factor: 7
Babe Factor: 10
Seen: Every time I close my eyes during my “private time” in the bathroom of the airplane.

To quote Garth, “Scha-Wing.” Salma Hayak is a babe of the highest order. Interestingly, Salma’s name in Hindi means “peace” but in Italian it means “corpse.” In English it loosely translates into “she makes me feel funny in my pants.” How lucky is Edward Norton that he comes home to this at night? Take a long look and tell me you wouldn’t subscribe to the Salma Channel. All Salma, all the time. If I was the stalking type Salma is the type I’d be stalking. If you know Salma please tell her to call and tell her I’m in

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