Archive for August 2008

Red Bull Toe

redbull

Toe Factor: 7 (but you are wide awake to notice it)
Babe Factor: 5&5 higher after a few red bull and vodkas 10&10
Seen: Raves and glam rock concerts
I am not sure how many of you have had the distinct pleasure of drinking several Red Bull and Vodkas.

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Tyra Banks is a beautiful woman by cameltoe

tyrabanks22

Toe Factor: 6
Babe Factor: 10
Seen at: Runways, Schraeger Hotels, acting classes in

About 4 years ago, I was checking into a swanky hotel in San Francisco. All of a sudden, up walks Tyra Banks wearing sweatpants and no makeup, and still looking gooooooood. As I am finishing with the front desk guy, I think to myself, “say something clever..

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Vlad’s Gonna impale her

0599278300

Toe Factor:5
Babe Factor: 7
Seen: Picking a sensible rocking chair for her new 56 year old husband, and shouting “Im not a gold digger its true love”

I once had a coffee table which formed the same weird shape which Alina Kabaeva has managed to achieve with years of training, it also has a knot of wood sticking up in the wrong place dead center, exactly where you would place and ashtray, the salesman assured me that is was a feature and not a flaw. So after burning out three Black and decker sanders on this impulse buy, the knot of wood had now become more of a log and looks more like Picasso has had a bash at furniture design.

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Olympic Gymnastic Cameltoe

gymnasticsToe Factor: 8
Babe Factor: sorry, illegal to rate
Seen: With finger down throat to vomit that rice cake
Favorite Movie: Lolita (the Show time version)

Without question, the worst sport in the Olympics is women’s gymnastics. First of all, they are not women. They are little girls. And there is nothing amusing about 14 year old girls ruining their bodies and self esteems just to get on a Wheaties Box every 4 years. Every single gymnastics coach is a child molester.

You can tell because they all have mustaches. But the worst part is that they pit the girls against each other. Have you seen the thinly veiled hostility in the fake hugs they give each other after a routine? Compare that to a true team sport like Basketball, Soccer or Volleyball. Those women actually like each other.

Gymnastics sucks. Dont get me started.

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State of Beijing China Olympic Swimwear Toe

olympicswimwearToe Factor: 7
Babe Factor ???
Seen: Beijing, China 2008

Here we see swimming champion Lenny Krayzelburg in a Speedo Fastskin FSl1. We’ll be seeing a lot of these suits last Olympics in Athens, on both men and women. I am not sure that this is what Lenny’s parents left the Ukraine for him to become, but here he is, in his late twenties, struggling with a bum shoulder and prancing around like aquaman without a cape. Lenny’s bio is compelling, and he’s had a great career, but he just seems to have some sort of charisma deficit (combined with being in a sport not hugely popular in the US)

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