Archive for September 2008

The Simple Camel Toe

parishilton

The Simple Camel Toe
Toe Factor: 9 (left lobe looks bigger. Kerry voter)
Favorite Drink: MojiToe (I apologize… that is lame)

Everyone loves to bag on Paris Hilton. No talent. Airhead. Born into money. Blah, Blah, Blah. Stop drinking the haterade. Every last one of y’all would trade places with her in a heartbeat. She is rich, hot and will never have to kiss anyone’s ass in her entire life. Can you say the same? If so, email us with a photo.

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Kelly Ripa Toe

kellyripa
Toe Factor: 9

I don’t know what is more remarkable: that Regis could replace Kathie Lee with someone even more banal and vapid or that he could do so and continue to stay on the air. Sometimes while channel-surfing I find myself rubbernecking on this show… and rubbernecking is exactly what it is.

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Goldie Hawn

goldiehawn
Toe Factor: 8

It’s an impressive Camel Toe that’s still visible behind a shower curtain. Goldie Hawn is getting to the point where she shouldn’t be trying to be cute anymore, but it’s hard to shift gears from being a slightly older Suzanne Sommers to being a grandmother.

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Camel-Toe-na or Christina Aguilera

christinaaguilera

Christina Aguilera
Toe Factor: 7

I’m not really sure what to make of this. I know she’s from Pittsburgh, and I’m guessing that this is some sort of bizarre Moulin Rouge-inspired halftime show at a Steeler’s game. I do know that her camel toe is firmer than Coach Bill Cowher’s chin, which is itself Rushmorian in its prominence and structural integrity.

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Lil’ Kim, Big Camel Toe

lilkimtoe

Lil’ Kim, Big Camel Toe
Toe Factor: 10

Fans have suggested that we do a spin-off site called Camel-HO for some time and we’ve resisted. Well, our corporate expansion strategy might have to be revisited in light of the arrival of this photo in our mailbox. Her Camel Toe looks EXACTLY like The Camel Toe Report logo, it’s that perfect.

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FabiToe

fabiotoe

FabiToe
Toe Factor: 5 (You weren’t expecting much were you?)
Favorite Pastime: Shaving chest. Plucking eyebrows.

Fabio had his 15 minutes. They expired many years ago. Aside from appearing in “Dude, Where’s My Car” and appearing on over 250 romance novel covers, Fabio has done almost nothing noteworthy. Yet, almost everyone knows who he is. You have to give the guy credit.

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Naomi Campbell modelling her Camel Toe

naomi campbell

Naomi Campbell
Toe Factor: 6 (I was frankly expecting more)
Favorite Drink: POM (until they go Chap 11 next month)

Naomi Campbell is one of those supermodels that everyone loves to hate. She has a temper. She expects to be treated like a queen. And why the hell not? If any of you saw the Victoria’s Secret fashion show this year (and something tells me our readers may have tuned in), she was hands-down the hottest woman on the runway.

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Camel Toe-stess with the Mostess

jillian barberie

Camel Toe-stess with the Mostess
Toe Factor: 6
Seen: Trying on knee pads at Sports Chalet

It used to be that the best part of not living in Los Angeles was that you didn’t have to listen to Jillian Barberie. But now someone at Fox has decided to elevate the national profile of this motor-mouthed weather girl…

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Dr. Camel Toe

connery prebond

Dr. Camel Toe
Toe Factor: 6
Seen: Running for his life outside Fenway Park.

Here we see a truly shameful picture of Sean Connery. Every day when Sean wakes up he should call the casting director for his first James Bond movie and say thank you. Think of what that person saved him from. There is simply not an acceptable explanation Mr. Connery could offer for why this picture exists.

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Camel Toe ga

Toe Factor: 8

It’s hard to know if yoga is here to stay or here but soon to go away. It’s been big before — George Harrison probably was the first purveyor of ’yoga chic’ —

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