Toe Factor: 3 (barely a Camel Toe)
Seen at: Sky Bar, telling a guy “No, you cannot buy me a Mojito…and yes, they are real”

There are those that will tell you that Melissa Joan Hart has never been able to transcend her “Sabrina: the Teenage Witch” role. I dont really care about that. She is what the late, great Phil Hartmann would call “SASSY.”

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Toe Factor: 10 (in the name of all that’s holy!)
Seen: Every arena with more than 50,000 seats

Achtung Baby! Bono loves the fans. But in this concert, he REALLY appears to be enjoying himself. Do not get me wrong. I dig U2, particularly because they are Ireland’s single biggest export. But this is without precedent.

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Toe Factor: 8
Seen: Aspen, Rodeo Drive, seeking “life after love”.

It looks like she’s got a Sheraton Hotel in her Camel Toe! Many have queried as to why Sonny was first interested in Cher..that was, after all, before she had any plastic surgery and her face looked like some of Picasso’s cubist work. Here’s a theory: at 4’6″ Sonny was at the perfect height to scrutinize, appreciate and ultimately fall in love with her Toe. And, as we all know, that is the purest and most enduring kind of love.

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Toe Factor: 7 (unclear how much the pants are helping)
Seen: Basically nowhere since Law & Order

Angie Harmon (She now goes by Angie Sehorn) is the definitive hot smart chick. When she played the DA on Law & Order, it gave every overworked, underpaid law student hope of one day meeting someone other than the girl on graveyard shift at Kinkos.

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Toe Factor: 10 (the outline of the crown is sturdy)
Favorite Movie: The Crying Game

I guess with his return to just being called Prince, he could be called The Artist Formerly Known as The Artist Formerly Known as Prince. I ran into him once in a nightclub in NYC a few years ago. The guy is so short, he could check Patrick Ewing for dingleberries without even crouching over. Maybe 5’4″.

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Toe Factor: 10
Beers/day: 10
Brilliance of creating “Girls gone Wild”: 10
Brilliance of getting Snoop Dogg to host “GGW”: 10

Spring Break is something that I will never get too old to enjoy watching on MTV. I fully expect to be watching it in diapers in an assisted living facility in 2044. I don’t even think that in college I’d have actually wanted to go to South Padre Island or Daytona Beach, but my vicarious pleasure in witnessing it never wanes. I particularly like it when MTV follows a group of guys and a group of girls for the week and chronicles their hook-ups, puking, body shots and other assorted activities.

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Toe Factor: 4

What is it about the Chevy Corvette that has attracted more cheese than any other sports car out there? Carlisle, PA is a town in SE Pennsylvania, not far from Harrisburg (which is the state capital only because a long time ago the Redcoats controlled Philadelphia).

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Toe Factor: 3 (photo looks like it has been altered to enhance her Camel Toe )
# of Lip Enhancing Surgeries: 5

Kylie Minogue is a superstar in Australia and Europe. But Americans have never seemed to give a damn. Why have we Americans embraced chumps like Men at Work, Russell Crowe (the poetry-reciting brat) and Paul Hogan while remaining indifferent to this little strumpet?

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Toe Factor: 6 (texture of fabric may be deceiving but still a great camel toe)
Best Comedy Bit: The Spartan Cheerleaders on SNL

Cheri O’Teri is hilarious. Her work with Will Ferrell on SNL was genius and the show has gone down the tubes since they left. Here we see Cheri going into the “Dumb and Dumberer” premiere in Hollywood.

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Tatu Camel Toe
Toe Factor: 20 (Two 10’s… What cold war?)
Seen: Making lesbianism cool at the MTV Movie Awards

For those of you that missed the 2003 MTV Movie Awards (as if you had better things to do), Tatu stole the show back then. They came prancing out with about 200 hotties in underwear. Every male in the building was drooling.

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