FabiToe
Toe Factor: 5 (You weren’t expecting much were you?)
Favorite Pastime: Shaving chest. Plucking eyebrows.

Fabio had his 15 minutes. They expired many years ago. Aside from appearing in “Dude, Where’s My Car” and appearing on over 250 romance novel covers, Fabio has done almost nothing noteworthy. Yet, almost everyone knows who he is. You have to give the guy credit.

Toe Factor: 9 (2….2…..2 toes in 1)
Seen: L.A…people like these only exist in L.A.

I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that the only heterosexual in this picture is the 2nd guy from the right. If you took the rest of them, and added a few costumes, you would have the Village People.

Toe Factor: Grande

Pay to view at this guy’s Camel Toe as he struggles mightily to contain and tame his unruly scrotum?

Toe Factor: 7

These two are on their toes for one reason: otherwise their genitals would be sweeping the floor. What’s particularly alarming is that I’m not sure if the dancer on the right is a man or a woman, if it is a woman then man what a camel toe,

Toe Factor: 10 (says so right on the uniform)
Fear Factor: 10 AAAAAAHHHHHHH
Seen: Going back to his job at Home Depot with no
medal

First off, let’s be clear that the Winter Olympics consists primarily of hobbies for rich white people rather than athletics. I’m not saying that athletic skill isn’t required to perform these functions well…just that they are not sports. Take Luge,

Toe Factor: 6.5
Babe Factor: 8 (she would make me it to a camel toe if it was lower)
Seen: Shaving her back
Favorite Movie: Terminator 2 (Linda Hamilton…mmmmm)

Hey…I always wondered what happened to Joe from that show “The Facts of Life“. Is there anything at all sexy about this woman?

Toe Factor: 7
Camel Toe’s state of mind: shocked

Sometimes you see a toe that is so compelling that you need to go in to examine it further. Unfortunately for the guy on the left, the urge struck him in a World Cup Football/soccer contest in front of tens of thousands of drunken fans and televised live to all of those nations who expect the World Bank to forgive their loans.

Toe Factor: 8 (it looks like all bag)
Photo Caption: “Look at my eyes. Dont look down.”

Given that we are in the teeth of Toe Madness, we thought we would try to find some related Toe for you. We were frankly hoping for a Florida cheerleader or something.

Toe Factor: 7
Wannabe Factor: 10
Seen: Coffee shops, talking about Shimano Alivio Crank set

As horrifying as this may seem right now, fifteen years ago it was acceptable for anyone, no matter the figure, to wear Spandex or “biker” shorts during non-exercising activities.

Toe Factor: 7
Babe Factor ???
Seen: Beijing, China 2008

Here we see swimming champion Lenny Krayzelburg in a Speedo Fastskin FSl1. We’ll be seeing a lot of these suits last Olympics in Athens, on both men and women. I am not sure that this is what Lenny’s parents left the Ukraine for him to become, but here he is, in his late twenties, struggling with a bum shoulder and prancing around like aquaman without a cape. Lenny’s bio is compelling, and he’s had a great career, but he just seems to have some sort of charisma deficit (combined with being in a sport not hugely popular in the US)