I have shocked the staff at The Camel Toe Report, by sacking our long time serving photographer Lyle, after blagging a couple of tickets to the Beijing 2008 Olympics, then sneaking him in through the trades man entrance, he is caught by NBC trying to catch Nastia moving her hands to get a quick swatch of her bulge but there is a few thing which annoy me here.

Toe Factor: n/a
Seen: Olympic Beach Volleyball
Favorite Band: Phish, Ani DiFranco (but only when she’s pissed at her boyfriend)

At this point, you’re probably asking yourself, “Since when do wedgies pass for camel toes?” Truth is, they don’t. We just thought this was a great picture of a chick directing your attention toward her ass - something I firmly believe all chicks with a decent bumper ought to lend some serious consideration to.

Toe Factor: 5
Overheard Asking: “Can I Supersize the Grand Slam?”
Seen: Using the bars in the handicap stall for support while taking a dump

Toe Factor: 8 (Lovely Round Factor)

OK…the Beijing Camel Toe Olympics are over. Our USA gymnastics scored high on camel toes and low on points, Girls in our eyes you are all winners, you can’t help it if the world hates us, so wear your watch like a Gold medal, it might have been real if the judges were all British and American

Camel Toe Factor:8
Babe Factor:7

This is a great Camel Toe shot. Something about a misaligned tan-line is very sexy. This generation of Russian/eastern-European Tennis pros has game. And I’m saying that without knowing the slightest bit about any of their tennis skills.

Toe Factor: 7
Wannabe Factor: 10
Seen: Coffee shops, talking about Shimano Alivio Crank set

As horrifying as this may seem right now, fifteen years ago it was acceptable for anyone, no matter the figure, to wear Spandex or “biker” shorts during non-exercising activities.

Toe Factor:5
Babe Factor: 7
Seen: Picking a sensible rocking chair for her new 56 year old husband, and shouting “Im not a gold digger its true love”

I once had a coffee table which formed the same weird shape which Alina Kabaeva has managed to achieve with years of training, it also has a knot of wood sticking up in the wrong place dead center, exactly where you would place and ashtray, the salesman assured me that is was a feature and not a flaw. So after burning out three Black and decker sanders on this impulse buy, the knot of wood had now become more of a log and looks more like Picasso has had a bash at furniture design.

Toe Factor: 8
Babe Factor: sorry, illegal to rate
Seen: With finger down throat to vomit that rice cake
Favorite Movie: Lolita (the Show time version)

Without question, the worst sport in the Olympics is women’s gymnastics. First of all, they are not women. They are little girls. And there is nothing amusing about 14 year old girls ruining their bodies and self esteems just to get on a Wheaties Box every 4 years. Every single gymnastics coach is a child molester.

You can tell because they all have mustaches. But the worst part is that they pit the girls against each other. Have you seen the thinly veiled hostility in the fake hugs they give each other after a routine? Compare that to a true team sport like Basketball, Soccer or Volleyball. Those women actually like each other.

Gymnastics sucks. Dont get me started.

Toe Factor: 7
Babe Factor ???
Seen: Beijing, China 2008

Here we see swimming champion Lenny Krayzelburg in a Speedo Fastskin FSl1. We’ll be seeing a lot of these suits last Olympics in Athens, on both men and women. I am not sure that this is what Lenny’s parents left the Ukraine for him to become, but here he is, in his late twenties, struggling with a bum shoulder and prancing around like aquaman without a cape. Lenny’s bio is compelling, and he’s had a great career, but he just seems to have some sort of charisma deficit (combined with being in a sport not hugely popular in the US)

Toe Factor: 7
Babe Factor: 8
Seen at: Truck Feast hanging out a big rigs window

This hottie looks a little bit like Elizabeth Berkeley from SAVED BY THE BELL and, of course, SHOWGIRLS. I’m not sure what the 1992 World Bowl is but from the signature/logo it might actually have been an international cameltoe tournament.