I have shocked the staff at The Camel Toe Report, by sacking our long time serving photographer Lyle, after blagging a couple of tickets to the Beijing 2008 Olympics, then sneaking him in through the trades man entrance, he is caught by NBC trying to catch Nastia moving her hands to get a quick swatch of her bulge but there is a few thing which annoy me here.

Toe Factor: 10
Beers/day: 10
Brilliance of creating “Girls gone Wild”: 10
Brilliance of getting Snoop Dogg to host “GGW”: 10

Spring Break is something that I will never get too old to enjoy watching on MTV. I fully expect to be watching it in diapers in an assisted living facility in 2044. I don’t even think that in college I’d have actually wanted to go to South Padre Island or Daytona Beach, but my vicarious pleasure in witnessing it never wanes. I particularly like it when MTV follows a group of guys and a group of girls for the week and chronicles their hook-ups, puking, body shots and other assorted activities.

Toe Factor: 6 (lots of room for a flute)
Overheard saying: “What’s my name…bitch”

Many of you know Allison Hannigan from Buffy. But she will always be the chick from American Pie who started every sentence with “this one time…at band camp.” Right there with Clueless and Fast Times in the Top 3 teen movies of all time, and still the number one film involving sodomized baked goods.

Toe Factor: 8

It’s hard to know if yoga is here to stay or here but soon to go away. It’s been big before — George Harrison probably was the first purveyor of ’yoga chic’ —

Sigrid and Jolie
Toe Factor: 18 (9×2)
Seen: Jolie’s basement, 2AM Thursday, photo by her brother Helmut

Sigrid and Jolie were the hottest girls in the class of 1992 at Hamburg High (Germany). To this day they like to get together and listen to Ace of Base in Jolie’s basement and talk about old times,

Toe Factor: 9
Years to menopause: 9
Number of drinks when this photo was taken: 9 and a wee half

This is the LA that you don’t hear about on Entertainment Tonight. People who look like people on TV shows (like the facsimile of Kim Catrall on the right) but aren’t.

Toe Factor: 10

This picture goes right to the heart of the changing of the guard in the Hamptons. The WASPy woman on the left is appropriately frumpy and ageless in the sense that you don’t know if she’s 28 or 44. She looks equally comfortable taking care of her horse or helping her oldest son fill out his Hotchkiss application.

Toe Factor: 5
Overheard Asking: “Can I Supersize the Grand Slam?”
Seen: Using the bars in the handicap stall for support while taking a dump

Toe Factor: 8 (Lovely Round Factor)

OK…the Beijing Camel Toe Olympics are over. Our USA gymnastics scored high on camel toes and low on points, Girls in our eyes you are all winners, you can’t help it if the world hates us, so wear your watch like a Gold medal, it might have been real if the judges were all British and American

Toe Factor: 7
Babe Factor: 3
Grand Slams: 3
One thing Justine will never be able to give me is a Henin-Hard on. She just doesn’t do it for me. At least, not when you compare her to some of the other women on Tour.