Toe Factor: 8

It’s an impressive Camel Toe that’s still visible behind a shower curtain. Goldie Hawn is getting to the point where she shouldn’t be trying to be cute anymore, but it’s hard to shift gears from being a slightly older Suzanne Sommers to being a grandmother.

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Christina Aguilera
Toe Factor: 7

I’m not really sure what to make of this. I know she’s from Pittsburgh, and I’m guessing that this is some sort of bizarre Moulin Rouge-inspired halftime show at a Steeler’s game. I do know that her camel toe is firmer than Coach Bill Cowher’s chin, which is itself Rushmorian in its prominence and structural integrity.

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Toe Factor: 8 (nice outline, mediocre separation)
Babe Factor: mildly moist
Favorite Movie: Fast & the Furious (underrated)

Before I forget, when you watch “The Fast & the Furious”, you may notice that one of the cops is Ted Levine who plays Buffalo Bill,

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Toe Factor: 8
Babe Factor: 3
Seen: Food courts, arcades, Franz’s house
Favorite: Bon Jovi, Baraka

This little hussie is more woman than her 18 years would indicate. Do not be fooled by the 1989 acid-washed jeans. She only wears them because they have shrunken into a fine display case for her toe. This photo was taken just after she got off work at Chuck E. Cheese

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Toe Factor: 16 (8×2)
Babe Factor: 9 (6+3)
Favorite Sexual Act: going “off road dogging”
Subaru is a funny word. And a funny brand of car. Who, actually, are Subaru buyers? Mountain bikers who can’t afford an SUV? Unsuccessful Yuppies? Suburban soccer moms who can’t afford a Volvo cross country?

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To quote Garth, “Scha-Wing.” Salma Hayak is a babe of the highest order. Interestingly, Salma’s name in Hindi means “peace” but in Italian it means “corpse.” In English it loosely translates into “she makes me feel funny in my pants.” How lucky is Edward Norton that he comes home to this at night? Take a long look and tell me you wouldn’t subscribe to the Salma Channel. All Salma, all the time. If I was the stalking type Salma is the type I’d be stalking. If you know Salma please tell her to call and tell her I’m in

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