Posts Tagged ‘ spandex ’

I’ll be back to be rated as a Moose Knuckle

bodubuilderToe Factor: 6.5
Babe Factor: 8 (she would make me it to a camel toe if it was lower)
Seen: Shaving her back
Favorite Movie: Terminator 2 (Linda Hamilton…mmmmm)

Hey…I always wondered what happened to Joe from that show “The Facts of Life“. Is there anything at all sexy about this woman?

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Lance Toestrong Wannabe in Spandex

bikerchill

Toe Factor: 7
Wannabe Factor: 10
Seen: Coffee shops, talking about Shimano Alivio Crank set

As horrifying as this may seem right now, fifteen years ago it was acceptable for anyone, no matter the figure, to wear Spandex or “biker” shorts during non-exercising activities.

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Umbrella Toe, Know the Toe Sponsorship Plea

Toe Factor: 8 (nice outline, mediocre separation)
Babe Factor:
mildly moist
Favorite Movie:
Fast & the Furious (underrated)

Before I forget, when you watch “The Fast & the Furious”, you may notice that one of the cops is Ted Levine who plays Buffalo Bill,

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Red Bull Toe

redbull

Toe Factor: 7 (but you are wide awake to notice it)
Babe Factor: 5&5 higher after a few red bull and vodkas 10&10
Seen: Raves and glam rock concerts
I am not sure how many of you have had the distinct pleasure of drinking several Red Bull and Vodkas.

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Vlad’s Gonna impale her

0599278300

Toe Factor:5
Babe Factor: 7
Seen: Picking a sensible rocking chair for her new 56 year old husband, and shouting “Im not a gold digger its true love”

I once had a coffee table which formed the same weird shape which Alina Kabaeva has managed to achieve with years of training, it also has a knot of wood sticking up in the wrong place dead center, exactly where you would place and ashtray, the salesman assured me that is was a feature and not a flaw. So after burning out three Black and decker sanders on this impulse buy, the knot of wood had now become more of a log and looks more like Picasso has had a bash at furniture design.

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Olympic Gymnastic Cameltoe

gymnasticsToe Factor: 8
Babe Factor: sorry, illegal to rate
Seen: With finger down throat to vomit that rice cake
Favorite Movie: Lolita (the Show time version)

Without question, the worst sport in the Olympics is women’s gymnastics. First of all, they are not women. They are little girls. And there is nothing amusing about 14 year old girls ruining their bodies and self esteems just to get on a Wheaties Box every 4 years. Every single gymnastics coach is a child molester.

You can tell because they all have mustaches. But the worst part is that they pit the girls against each other. Have you seen the thinly veiled hostility in the fake hugs they give each other after a routine? Compare that to a true team sport like Basketball, Soccer or Volleyball. Those women actually like each other.

Gymnastics sucks. Dont get me started.

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New England Toe

Toe Factor: 7 (I need 12 beeahs in me just to look)
Babe Factor: (5+3+8)
Seen: Candlepin Bowling or

This photo explains why Baywatch was shot in California, not in Boston. The one on the left is decent, and probably talks dirty during sex. She is likely from the large Portuguese community near Hartford and went to CCSU (Central Conn. St.)

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Sue Baru and her Friend the offroad doggers

Toe Factor: 16 (8×2)
Babe Factor: 9 (6+3)
Favorite Sexual Act: going “off road dogging”
Subaru is a funny word. And a funny brand of car. Who, actually, are Subaru buyers? Mountain bikers who can’t afford an SUV? Unsuccessful Yuppies? Suburban soccer moms who can’t afford a Volvo cross country?

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