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Cameltoe Female Movie Stars
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Sharon STOEne
Toe Factor: 9
Sharon Stone is a member of MENSA, so she knows that her toe is the most prominent part of this photo... even more prominent than the mid to late eighties cordless phone she's using (the kind which actually required the antenna to be up if you wanted to stray into the bathroom for a grunt on the phone). This photo was taken in 1991. In it, she's telling her agent that she's finally blown enough cheesy producers to get a shot at the female lead in “Total Recall”. Pleased to hear the news, the agent then assures her that she'll get not only that audition but the “Basic Instinct” call-back as well. We can rag on Sharon for lots of stuff (most recently her husband with the porn-star mustache got attacked by a "kimono dragon") but we also have to admit that she was very good in Casino and that she's clearly smarter than the average knee-jerk liberal Hollywood idiot. And until about eight years ago, she was a "total weapon".
Agent Toe-dy Banks
Toe Factor: 7 (unclear how much the pants are helping)
Seen: Basically nowhere since Law & Order
Angie Harmon (She now goes by Angie Sehorn) is the definitive hot smart chick. When she played the DA on Law & Order, it gave every overworked, underpaid law student hope of one day meeting someone other than the girl on graveyard shift at Kinkos. She was discovered by David Hasselhoff on an airplane. Picture that conversation… "Hi, you probably know who I am. That's right... Knight Rider. Well, I have this new show coming up called Baywatch that would be perfect for you. I just need to see how you look bouncing on a trampoline in a wet Speedo. Here is my address. Come by around 11 tonight." Further proof that all good things come from David Hasselhoff. Angie is now married to the most overpaid, overrated defensive back that ever wore a NY Giants uniform, Jason Sehorn. His career is cratering faster than Angie's. But luckily for Jason, the TV networks will hire any white guy that played in the NFL to provide the ironically titled "color commentary".
Ya Ya Toe
Toe Factor: 5 (the one on the left)
Seen: eating "Fried Green Tomatoes", sitting on "Beaches", wondering "How to Make An American Quilt"
"Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" is Hollywood's latest attempt to make men suffer for 2 long-ass hours. As with the other lame titles mentioned above, not to mention "Steel Magnolias", "Bridget Jones Diary" and "Dude, Where's My Car", chick flicks have become standard counter-programming, which is Hollywood-speak for releasing garbage like this against Star Wars: Attack of the Groans. They hope that once you get to the theater and realize that all the good movies are sold out, your girlfriend will guilt you into paying for boredom. Ya-Ya focuses on the love-hate relationship between mothers and daughters. Yawn. Uh, honey, I'm going to go get some popcorn, ok? I'll be right back (after I call 5 friends on my cell while crapping and warn them to avoid this movie like herpes). Ashley Judd rules, however. The fact that she goes to the Univ. of Kentucky hoop games almost makes up for her dating Michael Bolton. Almost.
MaToelo Blahnik (… or HBToe)
Toe Factor: 3 (not great toe... but commentary-rich)
Best Acting Role: "LA Story" with Steve Martin. Rent it.
Sarah Jessica Parker is so much more than the shoe-slut she portrays on "Sex and the City". She has given intelligent women a show of their very own, full of biting commentary about men, fashion, testicles, careers and NYC. Unfortunately, her character on the show is a self-important whiner with all the emotional depth of a puddle. But don’t let that fool you. The fact that the creator of the show gave herself the least sympathetic character tells you all you need to know. Also, any woman that would marry Ferris Buehler is a keeper. Here we see Carrie in a relatively tasteful outfit, unlike the trampy nonsense the show featured this past season. It seems like the stylists have taken over the show, which portends a hammerhead leap any minute now. That would be unfortunate. These ladies have made it cool for women to be as crass and droll as the men in their lives. For that alone, we should all be grateful.
Camel Toe Girls
Featured Articles
Winter Toe-Lympics
In our first night of action, we are already given a beautiful Toe. This is why we love the Winter Olympics.
Jennifer CapriaToe
Jennifer had a hell of a year, with 2 Grand Slams last year. However, here the former teen flameout and onetime pot-smoking kleptomaniac with black nail polish (who, at the time, felt she discovered Led Zeppelin for her generation) is sporting a toe that says "take this, dad, you overbearing 'tennis parent'...i'm broadcasting my goods to the free world and there's nothing you can do about it".
Fat Albert Toe
Hey, hey, hey! If you are old enough to remember Fat Albert, then you probably ought to be surfing for Viagra sites rather than wasting your time here.