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Cameltoe Female Other
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Paula Toens and Toenya Harding
Toe Factor: 20 (10x2)
Combined years spent living in automobiles: 8
These two are the patron saints of cameltoes. If toewatching were a religion, their upcoming boxing match this week would be the equivalent of Jesus coming back and sparring a few rounds with Moses on Pay-Per-View and then doing a follow up interview on Larry King Live. I don't know why we as a nation draw the line here...why not get John Bobbitt, Lawrence Taylor, disgraced Senator Bob Packwood, Rae Carruth, the late Jeffrey Dahmer, Joan Jett, Steve Perry from Journey, Steve Garvey, infomercial mullet-maven Tony Little and Paula Poundstone in the ring as well....a Texas League rules, no-holds-barred cage match held at the Rose Garden with all proceeds going to pay off the Clinton's Chappaqua decorating bills and Marc Rich's attorney fees? Then afterwards there could be a reception at the Hooter's in Gaithersburg...the ultimate velvet rope venue. This is the America our troops in Central Asia are protecting...
Kelly Ripa Toe
Toe Factor: 9
I don't know what is more remarkable: that Regis could replace Kathie Lee with someone even more banal and vapid or that he could do so and continue to stay on the air. Sometimes while channel-surfing I find myself rubbernecking on this show... and rubbernecking is exactly what it is. This shot is from a special put together by the American Medical Association, which has determined that the average adult can only withstand 5 minutes and 28 seconds of her without incurring serious and irreparable brain damage. Double-blind studies have shown that multiple Harvard cum laude graduates, after being exposed to Regis/Kelly banter for an entire JetBlue flight from Islip to West Palm Beach, experience such cognitive degeneration that if they had to re-apply to college the best they could do would be the night program at Plymouth State. Kelly is the girl from student government who everyone always thought would get her comeuppance in the "real world" but never has... and likely never will because even though she's tedious and annoying she is probably extremely persistent, resilient and ambitious... so you have to give her props for that even if exposure to her chatter could turn Steven Hawking into Benny from LA Law.
First Toe
Toe Factor: 5
Here we see Laura Bush and some sort of religious official who looks like Karl Rove. Maybe that is Karl Rove and they just have him shadow (sometimes in costume) the Bushes the way that Tom Cruise assigns a Scientologist 24/7/365 to think and speak for his "girlfriend". Anything to stay on message. The popularity (according to surveys) of Laura Bush is a mystery to me...what is there to like (or dislike)? This woman defines milquetoast, either by accident of birth or perhaps by design and calculation. Perhaps it is that she is so bland that anyone can project on to her whatever they want. I am not necessarily saying that she is dull or smart or interesting, just that there's no way to know if she is or isn't. A homemaker/political Rorschach all in one. This much is clear, she never really had that sexy librarian thing going on... with or without Toe... and if her husband weren't President she certainly wouldn't be stopping traffic like she is in this photo.
Camel Toe Girls
Featured Articles
Classic coffee room toe
This is classic coffee room toe. Not a pretty way to start the day.
MTV Music Video Awards Cliché Toe
Poor Madonna. Used to have her finger on the pulse of what was outrageous and made millions manipulating various images and pressing buttons. Now, at 45, and in the face of tepid record sales and an increasingly hard-to-watch quest for sustained relevance to MTV's target audience, she looks through her 1987 lens and figures that THIS will shock people.
Water Park Toe
Adults do not give kids enough credit. For example, this kid here knows that looking up at his mother's Toe will cause him irreparable harm in later years. So he looks groundward and says, "no mommy...