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FabiToe
Toe Factor: 5 (You weren't expecting much were you?)
Favorite Pastime: Shaving chest. Plucking eyebrows.
Fabio had his 15 minutes. They expired many years ago. Aside from appearing in "Dude, Where's My Car" and appearing on over 250 romance novel covers, Fabio has done almost nothing noteworthy. Yet, almost everyone knows who he is. You have to give the guy credit. But as with all who have seemingly sold their soul to Satan, Fabio finally got his comeuppance. In 1999, he was hit in the face by a goose while on the first ride of the Apollo's Chariot roller coaster in Busch Gardens. Those types of things don't happen to you unless you deserve them. If Fabio had stayed folding shirts at Jeffrey's or spinning a whistle as a lifeguard, the karma gods would not have smacked him like this. And now, here he is getting mocked by a woman at a convention. Next stop? Porn.
TOEtal Recall of Gray Davis
Toe Factor: 8
Seen: Fund raising
Here we see a young Arnold, before he conquered bodybuilding and Hollywood. Around the time when he completely decimated Franco Columbo's psyche with his classic line in PUMPING IRON. He turns to Franco and says, "Franco, you’re looking good, you’ve been working hard… but imagine my confidence right now..." Perhaps he will be the next Governor of California. I was watching NBC not long ago thinking that perhaps some of Arnold's dianabol (or whatever he was injecting back in the 70’s) has possibly made its way into Maria's toothpaste tube; have you seen those teeth lately?!? I know that large - and possibly extra - teeth are a Kennedy calling card... but her chopper situation is truly frightening. I've been in kitchens with less enamel than she points at the camera on Dateline NBC. Hmmm… I wonder what the movie about his campaign trail will be called? First Terminator? Conan the Legislator?
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Featured Articles
Tatu Toe
For those of you that missed the MTV Movie Awards (as if you had better things to do), Tatu stole the show. They came prancing out with about 200 hotties in underwear. Every male in the building was drooling. But this performance was the musical equivalent of a medium rare filet mignon walking through a vegetarian restaurant.
Double-Stuff Toe
This woman... call her Madge... could kick your ass without breaking a sweat. She works in the drill section of the Home Depot in Norwalk, CT.
The Band
Here we see a photo from 1972. Photos from this era are tricky to analyze, whether it's a group of spoiled college idiots, Crosby Stills and Nash or the founding engineering team at Microsoft The problem: dirty hippies look like all other dirty hippies.