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Cameltoe Male Other
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Commander in Toe
Toe Factor: 10 (Laura must be a happy woman)
Favorite Department Store: Sacks 5th Avenue
Go W... it’s your birthday... we gonna party like its your birthday... we gonna sip Bacardi like its your birthday... That 50 Cent is some catchy shit isn’t it? I can’t stop singing it. Anyhow, this had to be W's finest moment. Fresh off landing on a moving aircraft carrier, he steps off the plane sporting a mammoth package as if to say "Saddam, allow me to introduce you to my friend, Deez.... Deez Nuts." If this wasn’t the best photo op a president ever set up, then my name isn’t Karl Rove. All the Democratic candidates in 2004 have started coming up with photo ideas where they can flaunt the goods. "Hmmm, maybe if you are bodysurfing in a pair of thin white boxers, and a lucky Newsweek cameraman happens to be on the beach..." Cause if they don’t get a shot of Joe Lieberman sporting massive doodads, W has this election in the "bag".
Dick (and balls) Cheney Toe
Toe Factor: 8
Seen: making dockers ads for guys who have invaded countries
Does G.O.P stand for "Grand Old Package"? I always figured our draft-dodging (a deferment is a dodge, no matter how you slice it) yet hawkish Vice President would be a bit challenged down there, but I guess I'm wrong. Unless, of course, Cheney (like most members of 1980s glam rock bands) stuffs for effect. Looks like he's got a pant-load of WMD down there. I like that Chris Rock skit from 2000 about how our country is being run by three guys named Bush, Dick and Colin (funny, although the joke relies on a homophone to work so is less effective in writing than in speech). I cannot decide if i think that Cheney is too cynical, ominous and serious or if i'm naive for thinking that he is. I'm not a huge fan of Dick (or lower case dick either), or his semi-literate boss, but I also can't stand the idea of spending four years looking at Kerry and that elongated, melting face that is always in a changing state of botoxification. We have awful choices every four years; if Bush wins again he should send the DNC a thank you note for putting up two corpses.
Camel Toe Girls
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Concert Toe
This picture was probably taken last Spring on the one warm day at the University of Vermont. You know the scene...a bunch of pasty prep school kids who couldn't get into Hobart or Middlebury dancing to a Phish cover band populated with white guys (sporting dreadlocks) from Fairfield County.
Paul Stanley (of KISS, dumbass)
While my inclination is to ridicule Paul without restraint, I cannot do so because I have some admiration for him. I respect that he has sold tens of millions of dollars worth of action figures and lunchboxes to generations of fans.
Sexually Ambiguous Toe
Holy shit. This is the prototype for the "PAT" character from Saturday night live in the early 90s. Of course, compared to this, Julia Sweeney's character looks like Heidi Klum (see celebrity toe archive).