Golden Gate Park Toe

Toe Factor: 4 (downright Lilliputian)
Overheard Saying: "This isn't the only pearl necklace I have worn this weekend..."

Our friend Ben here just got fired from E-Biquity or some other chump dotcom in SF, and has decided to just come out and come out swinging. By the way, if you are contemplating coming out (and you know you are), we suggest www.planetout.com as a planning resource. Plus, we want all you office web-surfers to have in your file that you went to that website. Hehe. Anyhow, he wants to have one last weekend sashaying around the city before his severance runs out and he has to move back to Carlisle, PA. While we applaud the Shirley Temple wig and the P Diddy sunglasses, we frown on the belt and the unitard. After his game of ultimate frisbee, there is going to be some crotch sweat and swamp-ass that will surely please the crowd. You just know its hairy down there.

Marathon or Practical Joke?

Toe Factor: 12 (2x6)

As they waited at the Sioux City casting call for the 2 new Teletubbies characters, Stinky Pinky and Joe, Paul and Jim began to realize that perhaps they were the victims of an elaborate practical joke. Remember when Jerry Falwell went after one of the teletubbies because he looked gay? Pretty good time management on Jerry's part... really big picture. God would be proud of him for fighting the good fight. If anyone has any shots of Toes from Liberty University, or of Jerry himself, please send them.

Silence of the Lambs

Toe Factor: 10 (self-grading)
Seen at: NAMBLA Meetings

I'm normally not a big fan of the staged shot. There's only so much humor in the self-wedgie or the self-tuck, ala Silence of the Lambs. But this. THIS. This missile missive from a fan in the UK is OK for our site any day. Grab any Oxford Dictionary, turn to the word "issues" and this guy's picture will spring out faster than Austin Powers can say "twigs and berries....bait and tackle." Get to a shrink, lad.

Quick. Somebody call Tony Blair. Mad cow disease has a new strain. Mad Camel Toe disease is crippling our brothers across the pond.

 I love the fact that our man is sporting shades. Always important to look cool and inconspicuous when cramming the family jewels into your sister's spandex bodysuit.

My dreams every night.....

Toe Factor: 5
Seen at: my dreams every night.....uhhh...I mean...at the hair salon, trying to sell me a $20 bottle of gel
Favorite Movie: If I have to tel you...

This guy is the reason your college buddy that majored in Psych is driving a BMW. Nothing I could write would even approach the dementia of this guy's own web site. So rather than try, I give you the winner of a 2001 Webby Award. Do you think there will even be a 2002 Webby?