Phd Spring Break

Toe Factor: 7 (also the # of years to complete Phd)
Seen: Refinancing the MTV Beach House

Here we see Gunther, who just completed his dissertation in Applied Physics at SMU. If we must have a minimum drinking age, we should also have a maximum Spring Break age. Scumbags like this guy always seem to be lurking around the periphery of Spring Break and other college functions, pretending to like techno, and hoping to slime their way into a drunk coed's drawers. Someone told him that he would blend in more if he tucked his shorn nuggets into a shiny eyepatch. A good rule of thumb: if you cant see your G-String, you shouldn’t be wearing one. But that wont stop Gunther. He is going to lure someone's daughter back to the Ramada and romance her with free minibar and the new Michael Bolton CD. Lets hope he fails. Can you imagine what he looks like from behind? A flat hairy old white guy ass bifurcated by a piece of rope that is hanging on for dear life. Go home, Gunther.