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Cameltoe Men's Toes
Pirates of Stuffenpants
Toe Factor: 10
Seen: Disney's new themeparks
With Walt Disney stock languishing at 7-year lows and CEO Michael Eisner under increased pressure from his Board of Directors to shake things up in their theme park operations, Disney has begun catering to markets outside their traditional power alleys of borderline obese middle class, midwestern Americans in denim shorts with ritalin-addled children. Recognizing the size and favorable financial profile of the gay community, Eisner has greenlighted a new theme park catering to this heretofore-ignored population. He's waived the usual restrictions on both employee goatees as well as visible cock rings, and thus far the results have been promising. The lesbian rides, particularly "Toe White and the Seven Dwarfs", in which the protagonist resembles a phys-ed teacher in Columbus Ohio (complete with BIKE shorts, a whistle, and lots of leg hair) are doing especially well. If the fourth quarter of the year shows a continuation of these favorable trends, new parks are slated to open up in communities across the country in early 2003.
San AnTOEnio
Toe Factor: 9 (bulbous, almost looks like a tumor)
Favorite Hotel Chain: Doubletree... for the cookies
Seth is a simple man with simple needs. He lives in Texas, and loves to sample the casinos just over the border in Louisiana. After years of wistfully flipping through the catalogs, he took his bonus from EDS and bought hisself the finest pontoon boat $6,500 can buy. And goddamn if it don't reel in the honeys. After an initial date with Rita at happy hour at Fuddruckers, he proudly asked her to take a cruise on the Love Boat. And judging by his protrusion, Seth is going to be getting some poon on the pontoon. Is it worth the awkward moments around the office next week? Hell yes. Rita will send him a mousy email that ends with that ubiquitous :) thing. "Let me know if you need a crew member for your next voyage :)!!!" Why do women feel the need to use emotive punctuation in email? Anyhow, Seth will casually blow her off, knowing that Sandy in HR will be examining his tumor next Saturday.
Camel Toe Girls
Featured Articles
Embedded Toe
We are not dumb. We know that while most of you check the site on Mondays for the comedy, there are a few mongrels looking for scantily clad ladies so they can get their morning "Shuck and Awe" session. But when we saw this photo, we were honored. The thought of some hardass US troops taking the time to stencil the Cameltoe on the barrel made us proud and was instantly worthy of a Toeny Award.
Would Like to Propose a Toe-st
Ok....wait.....seriously guys.... Oh my God...I can't even tell you how much fun my bachelorette party has been so far.... Sandra, thank you so much for buying all the pink champagne....I am so loving it....
Gravity
What is it about old guys and saggy nutsacks? Every time you see an old guy at the gym locker room they've got two soccer balls wrapped up in an America's Cup regulation-size spinnaker.