Rocky

Toe Factor: 4
Seen at: Discos, Bowling alleys
Favorite Movie: Rocky

Not a great toe but certainly worth an honorable mention in the Retro Toe section. So many issues going on here.

1) The mid 70's Guinea Afro. Come to think of it, most guys in Long Island still have that haircut.

2) The chin dimple (or Chinple). With the possible exception of Kirk Douglas, no-one had a better Chinple than Travolta. We should start a Chinple website.

3) The black collar out look. This also made a comeback in the late 90's in LA. Usually accompanied by hair that looks ruffled and spiky, but was done so intentionally.

4) The gold necklace/chest hair combo. Old guys in Boca Raton sport this look poolside.

5) The 3-piece suit. Also made a brief comeback before being shoved aside in favor of the 7-button NBA draft suit.

6) The Toe.....nuff said.

7) Bell Bottoms. Young girls wear these things all the time now. I dont get it. It makes noise when you walk.

8) Platform-Sole Shoes. Kenneth Cole has brought these back with great success. Short guys love em.

9) The Lit Dancefloor. These are still available when you have your wedding in North Jersey at the Sheraton near the Meadowlands. Otherwise, these have thankfully been relegated to history's dustbin.

Buck Rogers Toe

Toe Factor: 5 (cant be much to display)
Seen: Applying for infomercials

Here we see Gil Gerard of the TV show "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century", which aired from 1979 to 1981. The show generally sucked and was a blatant attempt to capitalize on the fever created by Star Wars. But as you can see, there were plenty of tight clothes in the wardrobe department. Question: was the gay rainbow flag around back then? If so, was the armband and this show a subtle message that the world would be entirely gay by the 25th century? Hmmm. Anyhow, the show featured Erin Gray, who still does infomercials for skin cream and other garbage. She and Gil did the rounds of guest spots on all the popular shows of the time like Fantasy Island, Hawaii Five Toe, Love Boat, and other classics. But the show did have a following. In fact, if you aren't already bored with the topic, check out this webpage devoted to Suck Rogers. And I thought we had no lives..... http://www.buck-rogers.com

Major

These are the poster children for the 70's, a time when the world was all about free love, chest hair, enormous bushes, sexually transmitted diseases and clothing that accentuated cameltoes (a special thank you to Fila, Ellese, Boast, Head and other brands which peaked 25 years ago). Interest rates were high in the 70's so perhaps in such a deflationary environment $6mm went a long way. But in hindsight, that wasn't enough money to really make Steve Austin that much better than the average guy. They should have allocated some funds to his penis... it would have been a funny subtext throughout the show... allow the audience to contemplate what the sex life of a bionic man might be... for instance, would his scientifically-enhanced ejaculatory emissions break windows or walls in his bedroom? Injure his partners? Could his erection be wielded as a weapon if necessary? Was it hard enough to repel a bullet? Also, think of the action that could have occurred on those "special" episodes where he and bionic woman Jamie Summers got together? Today's TV producers, particularly those working for Fox, would have been all over the possibilities.

YenTOE

Toe Factor: 6 (frankly, the afro is more impressive)
Seen: Lecturing to Senate Democrats on foreign policy

Barbra Streisand is pure comedy. Her insecurity manifests itself in every aspect of her career. Much like that other aging New Yorker, Woody Allen, Barbra insists on casting herself in roles where young, beautiful people fall in love with her. My favorite was the "Mirror Has Two Faces", in which she had Pierce Brosnan and Jeff Bridges fighting over her. Yeah... right. Something tells me Bond is pulling down wool of a little higher quality. Just like Madonna, Barbra is fortunate that the gay community is in love with her, because the hetero world tired of the act years ago. In this photo, Barbra looks like one of Dr. J's teammates from the ABA. Tight shorts, high socks, huge afro. All she needs is a red, white and blue basketball to complete the image. Which honeymoon would you rather have on video? Barbra and James Brolin? Or Liza and David Gest?