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Cameltoe Retro Toes
80's Toe
Toe Factor: 7
Ounces of Hairspray: 8
Favorite Bands: Extreme, Krokus, Iron Butterfly
The 80's were an extraordinary time for fashion. This toe vendor is all dolled up, waiting for her boyfriend Randy to show up in his Members Only jacket and his K-Car to take her to Hammerjacks in Baltimore to see the J Geils Band. The combination of the acid-washed denim tuxedo with the foot-long tassles is due for a return to the runways of Milan. I am already seeing acid-washed jeans creeping back into style. Sure, they aren't as horrific as this set. But they are acid-washed nonetheless. I only wish we could see the bottom of this ensemble, because I am confident there is a set of pink legwarmers gathered around the ankle, obscuring the top of her high-top aerobics shoes. On the floor of the Aries K is a Rubiks Cube that is nestled against Randy's Capezios. Ahhh the 80's. We were young, stupid and happy as clams.
VW Toe
Toe Factor: 5 (upside limited by non-human status)
People have always wondered how a car designed by the Fuhrer himself could have continued to do so well beyond his death. In a world that gets increasingly more PC, how could this have lingered until just this year? Observers have also wondered why this car was especially popular among liberal and hippie factions given the lineage and the left's love of political correctness. Now we know. It seems that the design team over at Reichstag Motors decided to do a little subliminal messaging right on the hood itself, which is cleverly shaped exactly like our logo. You see, the design we chose for our logo caters to fundamental human urges and emotions and is the perfect symbol for strategic product placement. The Fuhrer was a mass-murdering idiot who didn't fully know about the perils of fighting a two-front war, but he knew a thing or two about marketing... and that was the part of him that Eva focused on when the relationship hit its rough patches, as all do.
Camel Toe Girls
Featured Articles
Picnic Toe
Why do women love picnics so much? Donna decided that she and Randy should spend Saturday sitting on Mom's quilt near the Lincoln Memorial. Randy's friends are at Champions sportsbar watching the NBA playoffs.
Super-Shrinkage
Sharon was invited by her officemates at 3M to a cheesedog costume party for Halloween. She accepted and invited the guy from the gym to be her date. He decided to come as Insufficiently Endowed Superboy.
"Guy" prototype
This is the "guy" prototype. He thinks he is sexy in his purple grape-smugglers (he isn't). He thinks that chicks dig his dingy apartment (they don't).