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Cameltoe Sports Toes
Nutcrackers? Sweet.
Toe Factor: 7
These two are on their toes for one reason: otherwise their genitals would be sweeping the floor. What's particularly alarming is that I'm not sure if the dancer on the right is a man or a woman. It seems to me as if there were ever a sport in which pants should be worn, it would be ballet. I'm not sure how this art form began, or why, but I wish it hadn't. It's not much fun to watch, and it has to be held responsible for the birth of Figure Skating....a birth which we lament elsewhere on this sight. So, indirectly, this art form is responsible for John Tesh re-introducing us to the phrase "triple sow cow" every four years at the Olympics.
The New LPGA
Toe Factor: 0
Toe Innuendo: 10
While technically not a toe, we know you'll forgive us for posting this. Here we can see the dramatic measures the LPGA is taking to distance themselves from the decades-old misconception that their sport is dominated by a bunch of lesbians with the same trouser size as Hall of Fame running back Earl Campbell of the Houston Oilers (now Tennessee Titans). General Mills' sponsorship dollars went a little farther than they anticipated when this gem started making its way around the internet a couple of weeks ago. This 'pro' has really long wood shots.... forceful but with a sensitive touch. Look at the technique: aggressive, leaving no doubt who's in charge, but nurturing and supportive as well... particularly at the stem of the trophy. Look in the background...the tournament is sponsored by LONGS, a drug store chain in California. Coincidence? I think not.
Kevin Millwood (is that a name or a nickname?)
Toe Factor: 7
World Championships in 11 straight playoff seasons: 1
Well, it's October. Time for the Braves to return to their families and watch the World Series on TV. This photo will be seen by more people in mid and late October than will Greg Maddux (5 time Cy Young award winner). That's because the Braves, like the city they represent, are over-rated. However, with lumber like this it's hard to imagine that Kevin Millwood really cares... in fact, he must relish the off-season where he can just hang (literally) at home in loose-fitting boxers and just let that chicken run... free range style. No more of those tight uniforms, which for junk like this are a cotton penitentiary. If you study the photo, the package is only slightly smaller than his glove... that's remarkable: male readers I dare you to make such a comparison at home and retain a strong self image!!! This guy rarely pitches to anyone with a bigger bat than he swings. Go Kevin.
Soccer Balls
Toe Factor: 7
Toe's state of mind: shocked
Sometimes you see a toe that is so compelling that you need to go in to examine it further. Unfortunately for the guy on the left, the urge struck him in a World Cup soccer contest in front of tens of thousands of drunken fans and televised live to all of those nations who expect the World Bank to forgive their loans. GOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLL! Hey, why not make it a goal not to default on your debt? Or have your banks not close for months at a time? Anyway, it looks like they are playing on astroturf, which is a form of carpet, and when #17 went in for the squeeze he shocked his opponent/victim to such a degree that his hair stood straight up. I still don't understand how a sport with such little offense interests so many people, but then again I can't understand lots of things... examples of this would include the appeal of Limp Biskit, the French and why Carson Daly isn't just some dope working at a record store in Irvine.
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Featured Articles
Fast Toes at Ridgemont High
Well, alright Hamilton! We all know Judge Reinhold's verdict here: GUILTY of TOE in the FIRST DEGREE. We here at the CTR affirm the lower court's decision unanimously.
Classic coffee room toe
This is classic coffee room toe. Not a pretty way to start the day.
Talkie Toe
This hottie looks a little bit like Elizabeth Berkeley from SAVED BY THE BELL and, of course, SHOWGIRLS. I’m not sure what the 1992 World Bowl is but from the signature/logo it might actually have been an international cameltoe tournament.