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Cameltoe Toeny Awards
Seminole Toes
Toe Factor: 18 (9x2)
First off, let's just state the obvious: it's an outrage and a gaping oversight that Florida State isn't in the Ivy League. Sure, there are not many monster truck fans at Brown. Admittedly, Yale football players don't typically have gold teeth and accountants from Ernst and Young working furiously to shelter their 'income'. Okay, Hanover, New Hampshire lacks a Hooters. But let's not nitpick - FSU does have club lacrosse and there's some merit to the argument that you learn more if you stay in college longer. Here we see a couple of reasons why Steve Spurrier had to leave the state of Florida altogether. I'm not sure if the girl on the right has one extremely tight pair of pants or has some sort of underwear or spandex over her shorts (the color match and toe make it confusing), but either way the result is a textbook quality cameltoe. Her friend on the right has a fine toe, but next to such classical form -- in the panhandle tradition - it's almost easy to overlook. What this picture doesn't show is the Florida State Football helmets with the two beer cups and tubes that are popular on game day.
Team Toe
Toe Factor: 10. Our geiger counter broke.
Batting Average: .400
Seen: Softball fields, strip clubs, poetry readings
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Team Toe, one of the leading softball teams in the upper Midwest. Hailing from Wisconsin, these outstanding citizens proudly wear their Toe Gear, and just look at the results. They are marinating in poonanny. #24 is proud of this photo. After all, only a single man would gladly pose for a camera while making a human wishbone out of a topless woman. Meanwhile the guy in the front left looks married. He has a sheepish look on his face that says, "Oh Jesus, please don't let this photo get on Cameltoe.org... my wife will divorce me and take my Ford Probe." #12 (or is it 13?) tried to get right under the toe for a dome polishing. We blocked out the nudity because these women have breasts that defy both gravity and Einstein's theory of stripper relativity… which says that if none of their relatives have breasts like that, they ain't real. We also blocked it out because this is a humor site, and the thought of someone whacking to our site is more than we can bear. But the message remains: if you Know the Toe, the booty shall be thine.
Toe-rotsky
Toe Factor: 3 (weak toe but great T-shirt)
Seen: Moscow... I hope you knew that already
Here we have a friend of ours proudly displaying his Toe Gear in the former Soviet Republic; further proving that the Toe is truly international, as in International House of Pancakes. For sending this in, our friend, let's call him Flavius, will receive a hot steaming cup of Jack Squat. And that goes for the rest of you that send us photos and then ask for free stuff. Especially when you send us the Elvis photo. We posted that weeks ago. Pay attention. Just because we are a .org does not mean we are running a charity. Anyhow, we love the effort here. Not only did he get up in the morning at the Moscow Marriott and put on his Toe shirt. He then sought out a local comrade of Toe to photograph. Nice work.
Let Us Eat Cake
Toe'mage Factor: 10+
Let Us Eat Cake Toe'mage Factor: 10+ Here we see two Washington DC-based CT Report fans showing us the meaning of love. We always knew that in certain cases Toe was edible, but every connoisseur knows you have to choose your spots carefully. This photo makes me think of the saying "You can have your cake and eat it to". When I hear someone say that I always ask myself 'what the hell does this mean'? If you think about it, what is the point of possessing cake -- or any dessert for that matter -- if you don't plan to eat it? Only very greedy and acquisitive people, who enjoy owning for the sake of owning, would really want a cake that they had no interest in eating; I would imagine, for example, that Imelda Marcos or Leona Helmsley stockpile things they don't even enjoy just because they find pleasure in knowing that no one else will be able to enjoy them. Our birthday girls here work for Clyde's, a restaurant group in DC that has a stellar Chili at their flagship location. They also own The Tombs (among other restaurants in Georgetown), where for generations drunken students have been receiving handjobs in the darkened recesses of the booths.
Camel Toe Girls
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Outdoor Concert Toe
This woman, call her Abby, just got off work at Target and filled up her mini-cooler with Icehouse beer to go to the Monsters of Roc k reunion tour at Meriwether Post Pavilion in Columbia, MD. To tempt the various loser guys in the vicinity of her blanket, she decided to sport her tight denim shorts that used to fit her in vocational school and her homemade cutoff top.