Booty Magnet

Here we see yet another example of the undeniable fact that wearing Toe Gear bringeth the booty. Before he bought our T-shirt, this guy was mopping floors at a porn theater for minimum wage. Now he is on a yacht, sipping Dom with hotties like this Russian scunion. When will you learn? Look at the smug grin. He is pulling more butt than an ashtray. Meanwhile, you are getting nathan in your mock turtleneck. Anyhow, we appreciate the submission.

Sideout Toe

Toe Factor: 85 (eight 10's and 5 extra pts for string)

Here we have Michigan's finest co-ed volleyball team. We know little of their success on the court. But we are confident that their performance is enhanced by their outstanding team uniform. Frankly, we are embarrassed that we didn't come up with the tampon string idea. That has to be the most creativity out of Michigan since the cupholder. Volleyball is one of those non-violent sports that tries to sound violent in its terminology (kill... spike... etc). But the knowing grins on these faces indicate that there is more than mere volleyball going on here. We think there is probably some swinging going on after the game. Cmon. Everyone has kneepads on. They are going to have to shower anyway. Just kidding. We are proud of these guys. Next time you spike one and tattoo the word "Spalding" on some loser's forehead, growl and say "know the toe, punk".

Happiest Toe on Earth

Seen: Epcot Center

Had Disney headquarters (rather than a park visitor) embraced "The Toe" and done a movie deal with the proprietors of this website, then perhaps Mr. Eisner would not be looking at early retirement next month (imagine trying to get by on a fixed income of whatever paltry amount of interest $800mm of municipal bonds can kick off!). One would think that after five years of a flat stock price and a disgruntled board of directors that he'd have realized that the modern definition of "family entertainment" clearly includes Cameltoes and commentary about cameltoes. Look at Minnie here... completely at home with a Toe Fan. In fact, I could picture Minnie with a very sexy toe. What this photo really shows is that in a world with declining standards of common decency, idiots like us with a stupid site like this are a slice of Rockwellian Apple Pie; a Fourth of July parade down main street with tight pants. Experts talk about the decline of culture and no data point affirms this hypothesis more than the continued popularity of cameltoe.org. Thanks to Toe Fan Darrin J. for flying the flag and fighting the lowbrow fight.