Winter Toe-Lympics

Toe Factor: 8 (given the temperature, it is amazing that his balls are even visible)
Favorite Undergarment: Ziploc Freezer Bag

n our first night of action, we are already given a beautiful Toe. This is why we love the Winter Olympics. However....here are some reasons not to love the Winter Olympics:

1) The Opening Ceremony was unbelievably lame. What the hell was with the "Child of Light?".. I wanted to see his lantern drip kerosene on his coat, resulting in a "child of flame"

2) Too Many Teams with One Athlete. Listen Thailand, Bermuda and others...Jamaica already did the bobsled thing. It was cute. But it resulted in one of the worst movies ever made, "Cool Runnings." It has been done. There should be a 10 athlete minimum to march in the opening ceremony.
3) Mitt Romney. Something tells me Mitt Romney has a dark secret. I dont know what it is. But he just looks too much like someone from a 1950's television show for my taste. Guys like that always end up in jail for some reason or another. His name is Mitt.

Other than the above, given the rich turf for Toe, we here at the CT Report are huge fans of the Toelympics.