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Cameltoe Women Cameltoe 18-30
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Red Bull Toe
Toe Factor: 7 (but you are wide awake to notice it)
Seen: Raves
I am not sure how many of you have had the distinct pleasure of drinking several Red Bull and Vodkas. These ladies appear to be selling a cheap Czech version of Red Bull. Your buddy convinces you to try it by reading you the ingredients. They sound harmless. A little caffeine and sugar. So you order a couple. The next thing you know, you are closing the bar, and asking where the late night clubs are. Your friends that just drank regular booze are on their way to bed, and you feel like a lab rat that just got an 8-ball injection. Eventually, you wake up at 2PM spooning your new wife Tammy in a double-wide trailer on the outskirts of Vegas. This stuff is still legal. But I am convinced that we are 6-9 months from the first class-action lawsuit against the company that makes it. So keep your bar receipts to show the lawyers. I love the Bull almost as much as I fear the Bull.
'Llittle hussie
Toe Factor: 8
Seen at: Food courts, arcades, Franz's house
Favorite: Bon Jovi, Baraka
This little hussie is more woman than her 18 years would indicate. Do not be fooled by the 1989 acid-washed jeans. She only wears them because they have shrunken into a fine display case for her toe. This photo was taken just after she got off work at Chuck E. Cheese and drove over to meet her boyfriend at the pawn shop/index.php where he hopes to buy a cheap samurai sword to put on the wall next to his wrestling trophies.
Umbrella Toe
Toe Factor: 8 (nice outline, mediocre separation)
Favorite Movie: Fast & the Furious (underrated)
Before I forget, when you watch "The Fast & the Furious", you may notice that one of the cops is Ted Levine who plays Buffalo Bill, the creep from Silence of the Lambs...as in "Is she a big fat person?" That guy rules. But I digress. This toe is a walking billboard, as are most people associated with racing. I dont know what MS is...I assume it is not an ad for Multiple Sclerosis. We here at Cameltoe.org are getting into the racing advertising business, sponsoring some guy in a soapbox derby in the Midwest (dont get any ideas...it was a one-time thing). However, this photo made us realize that if more of you would buy our merchandise, we could afford to put a "Know the Toe" logo somewhere on this diminutive European daredevil. If 2/3 of our 300,000 weekly readers bought $10 worth of stuff from us, we could afford a 30 second ad on FOX during the Super Bowl. Just think how stupid and fun that would be. So lift your left asscheek, grab that wallet out of your pocket, blow the cobwebs off of your Discover card and order some stuff from us. Keep the dream alive.
Umbrella Toe
Toe Factor: 5 (likely a shorn shrub)
Favorite Cartoon: Some of that Japan anime crap
First, a quick Japanese corporate trivia lesson. Bridgestone was formed in Japan, and was originally called Ishibashi, which is Japanese for "stone bridge", which was converted into its present form of "Bridgestone" for Westerners. Bet you didn't know that. You see, we here at the Toe do more than make fun of the groinally challenged. We educate. Anyhow, this strumpet is holding an Ishibashi umbrella for a guy that looks like a young George Dubya Bush on the right. Meanwhile, the guy on the left looks like that character actor...you know the guy...from that movie. Auto racing and cameltoes go together like peanut butter and jelly. And by the way, what is up with everyone being allergic to peanuts all of a sudden? How did I grow up not knowing anyone with that allergy? I think it is a devious marketing ploy designed by the cashew growers. But I digress.
Camel Toe Girls
Featured Articles
Vintage Porn Toe
Back before the internet, people had to buy magazines like "Rapture" to facilitate self-gratification. Some people still do. But with all the free grime available online, it seems kind of old school. This lesson in macro-economics explains why General Media (publisher of Penthouse) filed Chapter 11 earlier this month.
Jennifer AnisToen
We here at the Toe love Jennifer Aniston. But the Friends finale was an avalanche of cliches and bad writing. It made the Seinfeld finale look like genius.
Raquel Welch
Erase from your mind the nightmarish image of today's 61-year-old Raquel Welch hawking the new and improved Lee Press-On Nail system on yet another celebrity-endorsed infomercial, and think back to the days when she could wake up your weenie with that camel-rich bikini.