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Cameltoe Women Cameltoe 18-30
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Hot Wheels Toe
Toe Factor: 9
Favorite Book: "Of Course You're Angry: Coping with an Abuser"
Wheels? What wheels? We all know what is hot in this photo and it has nothing to do with cars or miniature facsimiles thereof. In the early 1970s, the marketing for Hot Wheels occurred during commercial breaks of Saturday morning programming and was virtually indistinguishable from the cartoons I was watching. Had Mattel employed this type of signage and advertising at that time, I'd have a wallet with a chain attaching it to my belt and a closet full of stonewashed Lee jeans right now. I'd be living within a mile of both a Bob Evans and a Cracker Barrell with a cameltoe-sportin' big-haired bible-thumping wife and driving a Dodge Viper around town on my days off. Instead, I'm writing this site in my Scooby Doo Under-Roo's in a small room adjacent to my kitchen. Thank God.
Stroelling Toe
Toe Factor: 6
Seen at: Marshall's, the occasional NA meeting
At first glance, it's just another hot chick in a magenta leopard-print belly shirt, tight jeans and hooker shoes. But look closer (as if you need encouragement), and behold: UTOEPIA. Perhaps the best feature of this photo is that you can't tell whether she's holding hands with a guy or with another girl… those skinny shoulders are suspect at best. If you do allow yourself to believe it's a guy, take comfort in the "he doesn't appreciate me toetally" look on her face and convince yourself that you've still got a shot at having her. If you believe it's another girl, you don't need to take comfort in anything other than the idea that…well, that's it's another girl. Nuf sed.
SeeToe at SeaWorld
Toe Factor: 8
Unless this girl is pointing to Shamu playing a trumpet while juggling, or fielding questions about Iraq alternating between accent-less English and fluent Farsi, all the audience will notice is her cameltoe -- which looks a lot like male junk with an unusually large right nut. Unless this girl is wearing goretex underwear she runs the risk of getting a tetanus infection in her uterus if her zipper gets splashed and begins to rust. We here at Cameltoe.org have purchased 4000 Acres just north of Carlsbad, California to open our own waterpark/zoo... but instead of marine life we plan to capture various species of cameltoes. The current thinking is to organize the park by geographic origin of the toes, with the exception of retro toe and celebrity toe which will both have their own dedicated areas. The facility will be affiliated with The Cameltoe Institute, where socio-cameltologists will study and publish the latest findings in the field and explore linkages between cameltoe and mullets, heavy metal, klan membership, general white-trashiness, ownership of 38 Special music, time spent in Atlanta wearing denim shorts and the phenomenon of casual fridays among the middle-management set. We will keep you up to date on the progress.
Would Like to Propose a Toe-st
Toe Factor: 8.5 (white pants give good shadow)
Seen: The V-Bar at the Venetian in Las Vegas
Ok....wait.....seriously guys.... Oh my God...I can't even tell you how much fun my bachelorette party has been so far.... Sandra, thank you so much for buying all the pink champagne....I am so loving it.... And Linda, the $50 gift certificate to Wet Seal was too much...Ummm, I love you guys so much!!!.... It was too much fun dancing around in our hotel room lip-syncing to the B-52s with hairbrushes for mikes....And lying around the pool reading In-Style magazine all day was yummy... I just know that Jimmy and I are going to be soooo happy together. I am sure he will get a job soon. But no matter what... I am sooooo lucky to have great friends like you guys... (all her friends pout and say "awwwwww" in unison).... But since I dont get married for another couple of weeks, and since we all aren't wearing underwear and are dressed like hookers, lets try to make out with cute guys and remember... what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!!!!!... Whooooohooooo!"
Camel Toe Girls
Featured Articles
Iron "Made In" the 70
Iron Maiden is one of those groups that achieved a level of fame primarily for being famous -- like a 70's cheesemetal version of George Hamilton.
U-Toe Basketball
Given that we are in the teeth of March Madness, we thought we would try to find some related Toe for you. We were frankly hoping for a Florida cheerleader or something.
Smoking Toe
Today's younger generation is confused. They know that smoking causes lung cancer, but they also know that smoking is cool. Here's how some of the more creative kids are reconciling these competing realities.