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Cameltoe Women with Weird Toe's
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Big Mama’s House
Toe Factor:- false 8
First thing that springs to mind is the fact that she is in the audience and not in some Oprah Show “Me and Anorexia” next is why is she at the front, the three women at the back are well pissed. So here is my conclusion, Eddy Murphy called Oprah the night before to check if he could do some method acting for his new film “Scary Spice is not my wife” again he will be playing all the parts, so here he is in a remolded Professor Clump body suit trying to act surprised that she is pregnant and not putting on a little weight.
Trapeze Toe
Toe Factor: 9.5 (hips preventing the perfect 10)
Seen at: Cirque de Suck, Vegas Casino Showrooms
Favorite Candy: Mentos....the Freshmaker
Can you imagine the horror if the woman on the right couldn't slow the trapeze quickly enough, and ended up with a camel-nose sandwich? On the other hand, something tells me these ladies have probably visited the camel exhibit at the zoo before, and in private...as in the LPGA tour....as in they might be 2 out of Ellen's 8 viewers...nudge nudge....I am just glad that I do not have to sit through whatever shitty performance they are doing. The only thing worse than a Vegas show (Cirque de Ass, Sigfried and Roids) is a circus. Check that....any musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber (Cats, Phantom of the Opera, Evita) takes the cake. If I ever run into that guy, I am going to demand that he compensate me for the 9 hours of my life that he wasted.
Smoking Toe
Toe Factor: 10
Life Expectancy of Smoking Toe: 58
Life Expectancy of Nicotine-free Toe: 76
Today's younger generation is confused. They know that smoking causes lung cancer, but they also know that smoking is cool. Here's how some of the more creative kids are reconciling these competing realities. Guys don't seem to mind, because now they can circumvent foreplay altogether by claiming that they don't wish to expose themselves to second-hand smoke. In fact, Skoal is working on a new "Bandit" line of products for men and women based upon strategic pubic placement for "pure tobacco pleasure, without lighting up". This is about as smart as those Russians that do vodka enemas in an attempt to get drunk and still pass a breath-o-lizer test. You kids....dont try this at home.
Rally Round the Toe
Toe Factor: 6
Forget about what God hates or doesn't hate, seeing the woman in the foreground of this photo seriously calls into question the larger issues of (a) whether a divine being exists and (b) if one does exist is it/he/she benevolent. And even if God hates America, he doesn't hate it as much as this protester apparently hates abdominal crunches, tasteful clothes, restraint or self-respect at the dinner table and any of the books authored by the late Dr. Atkins. Take care of yourself before purporting to know what is best for anyone else, okay? Figure out how to not carpet bomb your internal organs with Doritos and hostess products and then we'll engage in a discussion of which Middle Eastern countries ought to be bombed and in what order. This picture appears to have been taken right outside the UN headquarters on the East Side of NYC. I think that deep down God sees the UN for the sham that it is...and is probably deeply offended that Truman pushed to include the French on the security council despite France, even then, being 200 years beyond relevance.
Camel Toe Girls
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LureToe
I’m sure I don't need to tell all of the self assured heterosexual men reading this, but for all the others, this woman is holding a giant Rebel Pop R lure, model # G254 in the green perch pattern.
YenTOE
Barbra Streisand is pure comedy. Her insecurity manifests itself in every aspect of her career.